Unbidden Love (Book Five of the Bidden Series) Read online

  “Do not forget that time you kissed me,” Quinn said, a cheeky smile playing on her lips.

  Natalie sighed, feeling the weight of realization settling into her muscles. “You are right. I need therapy.”

  “You just need someone objective to talk to. Layla was younger than you when she fell in love with Nick, and by the time she sought help she was in way too deep.”

  “But they are better now?”

  “Mostly. After ten years and countless separations they are trying for another baby, and together they are stronger than ever.”

  Natalie could barely picture her own life in ten years anymore, let alone a romantic life with another person. Perhaps there was merit in Quinn's suggestion. What did she have to lose?

  CHAPTER TWO

  “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

  “How much time do you have?” Natalie joked, a self-deprecating chuckle escaping her mouth like a sigh. She tried to cover a casual glance at her watch with the crossing of her legs; there was still another 55 minutes in their session. Or another $550 to be exact. Therapy with Dr. Jessica Brown did not come cheap. “Honestly, I do not know where the beginning is.” It was not a total lie. There were many starts in life, many firsts. Which one got her to that point?

  “Why don’t we begin then with why you are here and what you hope to gain from our sessions.”

  Natalie let her eyes roam around the spacious office and its mid century modern aesthetic, all neutral browns with the occasional pop of azure or pineapple yellow. She did not quite know what to expect from a shrink's office, other than a couch facing away from a chair so its inhabiter could drone on about his or her childhood. Or maybe she had just seen one too many movies.

  “I am here because my best friend, Quinn, thinks I need to be here. I am not really sure what I can get from these sessions.”

  “Do you agree with Quinn? Do you need to be here?”

  Natalie smoothed her hands down the polished wood surface of the armrests at either side of her seat. How many men or women had sat there before her, running their own hands down the armrests in contemplation of their own dysfunctional relationships? “I am not sure. She would not suggest it if she did not think I needed it, right?”

  “If she is a good friend, yes," Doctor Brown nodded. "Do you trust her judgement?”

  “Yes,” Natalie answered. The question required no deliberation whatsoever. “Though in many ways you could say she is at least partially responsible for why I am in my current position.”

  “Oh? What position is that?”

  She had meant it mostly as a joke, but almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth did she realize the joke would be lost on a complete stranger like Doctor Brown. Still, despite having never uttered the words out loud before, Natalie's answer came surprisingly easy.

  “I think am in love with two people.”

  If she was expecting Doctor Brown to flinch or express some other form of surprise, she was sorely mistaken. The woman was unfazed by Natalie's confession.

  “Let's talk about that.”

  “What do you want to know?” Natalie fidgeted with her fingers in her lap as she thought about the question. “James is the first and only man I have ever loved in the truest sense of the word. Audra, on the other hand, is the only woman I have ever been romantic with, and I think I am in love with her, too.”

  “You are in love with one man and one woman at the same time?”

  “I am nothing if not an equal opportunist,” Natalie joked, though this time she didn’t bother with the self-deprecating laugh. She doubted the psychologist would join her in the joke anyway. “I met James first. Actually that is not true. I fell in love with James first. Technically I met Audra long before I ever met James, but I do not remember it. Anyway, that is not germane to the story. I met James about a year ago and Audra a few months after that.”

  “Does James know about Audra? Or Audra about James?”

  Natalie expelled a quick breath. “Uh, yeah. They have known each other forever. They are business partners. And objectively I think they are each other’s best friend. Though they might not exactly see it that way. Or if they did at one time they certainly do not anymore. I kind of Yoko Ono’d them.”

  Doctor Brown made a series of what looked to be scribbles on the legal pad she kept tucked neatly inside a leather folio. Finally, when the pen rested in her hand, she looked to Natalie with a vaguely scrutinizing expression.

  “Why do you think Quinn is partially responsible for you being in love with two people?"

  Natalie pushed away the small nugget of annoyance that the therapist was seemingly immune to humor, and took a clean breath of air. "She isn't. Not really. She was merely a catalyst, if you will." She debated whether or not to convey all of the details of the story, complete with the legal-on-paper members-only-club that essentially prostituted women to wealthy men. "I met Quinn at my former job. When I mentioned to her that I was up to my eyeballs in student loan debt, she referred me to an outside employer. That is how I met James."

  “Was he a co-worker or your employer?”

  "Employer. Though I found out months later that they were both technically my employer."

  Doctor Brown nodded thoughtfully. "Tell me about your relationship with James."

  Natalie's heart began to race again when the last man put down his tablet, a sign that the second round of bidding was over. This was it. The Announcer would call them each by number and pair them with the man who made the highest bid, they would be escorted to a room and the evening would truly begin.

  "Thank you for your bids, Gentlemen. You've outdone yourselves tonight, and we wish you a good evening with your winnings."

  Natalie breathed in through her nose, out through her mouth, and watched a Concierge escort Candidate Two and her winning bidder from the room.

  "Candidate Number Four has a high bid-"

  Natalie closed her eyes. Please be Twelve. Please be Twelve.

  "-from Gentleman Twelve."

  .....

  Finally Natalie looked up at her bidder, and like the first time, found he was staring at her. Up close and in better lighting she decided his eyes were a deep blue-green, still slightly too big for his face, and that he was even more handsome than she initially recognized. But beyond the charming and handsome facade there seemed to be an alpha male through and through.

  She was out of her league.

  "After you," he spoke for the first time.

  .....

  The twelfth man handed her a full champagne flute and kept one for himself.

  "What's your name?" he asked as she accepted the drink.

  "Natalie."

  "You have a very pretty name, Natalie."

  "I'll tell my mother you think so." She cringed inwardly, hoping her face wasn't also outwardly cringing. "I mean, thank you."

  "What would you like to toast to, Natalie?"

  "To unexplored opportunities," she said after a moment.

  The twelfth man's left eyebrow picked up ever so slightly in time with the smallest of smiles across his lips. "To unexplored opportunities," he repeated.

  .....

  "Did I do something wrong?"

  "Do you think you did something wrong?"

  "I... Doesn't this mean you're dismissing me?"

  "It means you're free to leave whenever you want, Natalie. Or it means you can stay here with me for as long as you want. Either way it's your choice."

  .....

  "I like this." His hand moved from her hip to her bellybutton and back again while the first hand remained just above where her lungs lived in her body, his arms around her in the most sensual version of a hug she'd ever had in her life.

  "Like what?" she asked, her eyes fluttering open and shut as her skin responded beneath the warmth of his exploring touch.

  "I like that you're so soft here. I love to feel skin, not bones. This," he said as his fingers pressed and deepened into her pillowy flesh, "
is much sexier."

  What little champagne she'd consumed had filled her head with such fuzzy goodness that she could let herself believe his words, however they might have ordinarily made her squirm. She closed her eyes and sighed as his hands came together on either side of her stomach and slid up her torso, his thumbs brushing just at the underside of her breasts. His hands rested there, fingers continuing in soft circles, as his nose skimmed over her from earlobe to neck and across her shoulder, taking in her scent.

  "Oh, Natalie. Sweet, innocent Natalie," he breathed, his hands coming away from her body and coming to a close around the two sides of the dress, pulling them together to more modestly cover her back.

  She opened her eyes and turned her head to look back at him, afraid of what she might see if she did.

  "I don't think you fully appreciate what you've gotten yourself into." His hands gripped her shoulders and he turned her around in his embrace, her back to the window and only inches away from him. "Maybe you should go."

  .....

  "You forgot this."

  Natalie glanced at the thick envelope containing her payment and then at him before turning her attention back to the slow elevator.

  "No, thank you."

  "I told you it was yours whether you wanted to leave or stay."

  "Thank you for the choice," she replied with just a hint of intended sarcasm, glancing at him quickly so he could see by her face that she was serious. "But I'll pass."

  The twelfth man's eyes sharpened on her, and even from the corner of her eye she could see she had challenged him, his features going through a myriad of expressions from shock to confusion and somewhere in between.

  "You don't even know how much money it is." He sounded incredulous, even offended, that she would reject his money without even the benefit of knowing the dollar amount.

  Natalie shrugged. "And I don't care. Being paid for my company, for my body even, I can live with. I can rationalize this transaction, as crazy as that sounds," she shook her head, not even believing the words were coming out and sounding as rational as they did. "I won't be paid to be rejected, humiliated, and summarily dismissed just because I've made different choices in my life." She gave him a pointed look, enjoying the obvious shock on his face at her rejecting him. "This is my choice."

  The elevator finally arrived, a soft ding announcing its arrival, and Natalie took a step forward to enter it when the twelfth man grabbed her hand and pulled her into his grasp, taking possession of her arms at her sides and crushing his mouth against hers.

  She was powerless to move, caught in the tight embrace of his arms at her elbows. He kissed her breathlessly, alternately capturing her top and bottom lip and fusing them between his own. The moment his grip loosened the tiniest amount she maneuvered her hands up and put them square on his chest, pushing him back from her and their kiss.

  "Stay." He spoke the word before his eyes even opened, and when they did they were a squall of blue-green intensity, as if even he was tormented with the idea of asking her to not leave after he'd just told her to.

  "No!" she asserted.

  The twelfth man's hands moved to her face, each grasping a side of her head, his thumbs pressed lightly into the space where her ear met her jaw. "Please," he pressed.

  "To be fair he did tell me that he would ruin me," Natalie said wistfully, tendrils of the past still uncurling in her mind's eye. "And he was right. Only it turns out that I kind of ruined him, too."

  "So you ended up staying that night?" Doctor Brown was leaning forward slightly in her seat, pen resting in her fingers as she cupped her chin.

  "Yes. After that night I never thought I would see him again. But five months later I did, and since then my life has not been the same."

  Doctor Brown set down her pen and consulted something on the wall behind Natalie's head, a clock presumably. "Natalie, we are almost out of time for today. I would like for us to talk about-“ the doctor briefly consulted her notes, “-Audra the next time you are scheduled to see me. How does that sound?"

  "Sure," Natalie nodded.

  Doctor Brown smiled warmly. "Great. Have any exciting plans for the weekend?"

  "Working all night," Natalie replied automatically. Her only plan past the next morning was relaxation in the form of sleep, wine, and shopping.

  "You must be very dedicated to your job. You co-founded your own new media agency, correct?"

  "Yes, but this work isn't for that. Not exactly."

  "How do you mean?"

  Something inside Natalie told her to withhold the truth from the therapist. She was not at liberty to divulge certain secrets, but then again she had already shared the story of how she met James, and felt no judgement from the woman about her brief past as a technical prostitute. If she had hoped to receive any kind of help out of talking to a professional, honesty was going to have to be the policy, no matter how much it hurt.

  “I have put myself in the auction for tonight. I am going to be Candidate Four again.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  "It really is such a shame that more women do not wear stockings." Natalie skimmed the delicate silk hosiery up over her calves, knees, and up towards her thighs. "I much prefer them to their pantyhose contemporaries. Did you know stockings were originally made from thicker fabric and worn by men?"

  She glanced in the direction of her companion - naked as the day he was born - the shocking blue color of the soft rope that bound his hands up above his head contrasting nicely against the dove grey headboard they were tied to. A silk scarf in a matching blue wrapped around his mouth preventing him from speaking. And though his legs were spread and equally bound with the same soft rope, they were weakened with use.

  "As far back as the twelfth century in Europe men were wearing stockings. Of course stockings themselves date back to antiquity. But these days they are more of a beautiful novelty than anything else. Is that why you like them so much, Albert?"

  Albert Packard was one of the richest politicians in the country. Powerful, too. His full head of raven black hair was ordinarily gelled back so it appeared sleek and neat, but for her it was tousled and mussed. And never was there a bigger fan of the three-piece suit than Albert, although he had long since abandoned the one he arrived in for the suit he was born in. He boasted about family values the way some people boasted about being vegan or gluten-free, as though it was some pious badge of honor that pardoned their judgement of the behavior of others. What the public did not know about Albert Packard, however, was that he liked to rub himself off to pretty women while tied up to the bed.

  The man's head nodded vigorously, his eyes never leaving her as she pranced around the room with an exaggerated swish of her hips. Once the stockings were secured to their matching black garter, Natalie slipped her feet into a pair of black leather Louboutins, smiling at the insta-height they granted her.

  "I like them, too." She coquettishly brushed her fingertips against the taut pink ends of her breasts and let her eyes close, thickened lashes fluttering against her high cheek bones. When she opened her eyes again they went immediately to Albert's growing erection. She pursed her lips and crossed silently to the bed, taking a seat next to him - just out of reach, even if his hands were not tied up above his head.

  "Again?" she asked sweetly, smiling as he nodded his head through closed eyes as though being relieved of some burden. Not that Natalie minded. Albert was a good looking man, and the fact that he was gagged made him all the more attractive because it meant she did not have to listen to him try to justify his particular brand of sexual stimulation. She did not care what he preferred in the bedroom, nor that he was technically cheating on his wife regardless of how he tried to rationalize it; she would not vote for him anyway.

  The truth of the matter was men like Albert - whose sexual proclivities were to get off without technically getting off with another woman - were frequently passing through The Golden Palm, and made the choice to don her Candidate status again so much easier
. She might not get much sexual satisfaction from him, but that didn’t mean she did not get any satisfaction.

  Natalie straddled the man's waist and leaned forward until her naked breasts could graze ever so lightly against the soft and supple skin of his cheek. Albert breathed heavily through the gag and closed his eyes, leaning his head into her breasts for more contact.

  "Is this what you like, baby?"

  He nodded and moaned when she leaned in further, pressing her breasts to either side of his mouth, her nipples touching against the silk gag. His hips thrust up against her backside, searching for friction against her body. She sat up and back on her legs, reaching to place his erection against his belly.

  "You just cannot get enough of me, baby, can you?"

  She rocked her hips across the length of him, the soft skin of her opening smoothing against his rigidity. Albert, who believed his wedding vows remained unbroken so long as he penetrated no other woman than his wife, mewled and moaned like a desperate man in heat. Unable to move his hands or legs and unwilling to move his hips with enough force to even encourage the likelihood of accidental penetration, Albert resorted to spreading his knees and letting her do all the work while he made sounds unbecoming of any man in bed.

  Natalie grabbed the thin heels of her Louboutins against her thighs and used them as leverage to drift back and forth over his erection with increasing speed. It was not entirely unpleasurable for her. Humping Albert countless times throughout their evening together had at least gotten her off, and he did not need to know of the fantasies that ran through her head as she aided in his masturbatory efforts.

  "Mmmm. Oh, Albert!" she moaned as she slid over him. Every time the head of his erection tucked into her mound and brushed against her clit they both moaned. "Oh, God, baby. You feel so good!"